Someone Finally Got It Right

"I am afraid Pangloss cruelly deceived me when he told me that all is for the best in this world." (page 43) Someone finally got it right! Pangloss' moto was incorrect! Like I said in my last blog, things happen for a reason, but not necessarily for the best.  It all depends on the person's opinion and what they think of the event.  Cunegonde has proved me wrong and has learned from her mistakes.  She has become wiser and now sees the flaws in what Pangloss used to tell her and her classmates.  Will Candide ever learn from his mistakes? Will he become wiser?

When Candide is in Cunegonde's new home visiting her, the owner of the house and attacked him. "It so happened that the old woman had given our worthy Westphalian not only a suit of clothes but a beautiful sword, which he now drew, and gentle though his manners were, laid the Israelite out on the floor, dead as a door-nail, at the feet of the lovely Cunegonde." (page 44) Then the Inquisitor arrived to the owner's house to pick up Cunegonde when he found the owner dead on the floor. "His (Candide's) reflections were clear and rapid; and without giving the Inquisitor time to recover from his surprise, he ran him through and laid him beside the Israelite." (page 45) How did Candide learn to be so handy with a sword? I mean he killed two men in two minutes and didn't even hesitate.  I am sure that these men had to be skilled in the art of swordsmen, so was it all luck? Did he even know what he was doing? The first one was ready to fight back so that is what shocks me the most.  The second death was not as incredible because the Inquisitor was in a state of shock.  Is Candide finally becoming wiser? Is he going to continuously be a night in shining armor? Only time will tell.

Guess What This Chapter is Going to Be About... Go On! I Dare You.

Pangloss and Candide somehow get on a boat with James, the Anabaptist.  They start their journey when all of a sudden a storm hits and James eventually falls overboard because a sailor pushed him. "He (Candide) wanted to throw himself into the sea after the Anabaptist, but the great philosopher, Pangloss, stopped him by proving that Lisbon harbor was made on purpose for this Anabaptist to drown there." (page 33) Ok seriously I know that their motto is "everything happens for the best"since life's motto is very similar. There is a famous quote that says "everything happens for a reason"and I agree with it. Therefore I can see why Pangloss stopped Candide from jumping into the harbor.  It was James time to die even though it was an untimely death, but I think that Pangloss is using his motto in the wrong way.  Instead of saying, "Don't do it because it was his time to leave us," he says not to because the harbor was made for his death. That is incorrect.  I am 100% positive that the harbor was made for different reasons, more important reasons.  Harbors are used natural reasons and they were created naturally by the oceans.

Voltaire puts Candide and Pangloss through so many unfortunate events, like the earthquake, shipwreck, loss of James, being poor, etc.  It seems like he is taking the pleasure in making fun of Candide's misfortunes.  He keeps bringing in more problems but keeps making Candide think that everything is for the best.  "'This earthquake is nothing new,' replied Pangloss; 'the town of Lima in America experienced the same shocks last year. The same causes produce the same effects.  There is certainly a vein of sulphur running under the Earth from Lima to Lisbon.' (page 34) He tells Candide this because he was freaking out about the earthquake.  When Pangloss tells him this, the reader can tell even more that he isn't the best philosopher.  He continuously makes the same mistakes by explaining things in the wrong way.

In the next couple of chapters nothing interesting happens other than what the subtitles tell you.  For example:

• Chapter 5 Describing tempest, shipwreck, and earthquake, and what happened to Dr. Pangloss, Candide, and James, the Anabaptist 
• Chapter 6 How a magnificent auto-da-fe was staged to prevent further earthquakes, and how Candide was flogged
• Chapter 7 How an old woman took care of Candide, and how he found the lady he loved

Since the chapters are two to three pages long nothing really seems to happen.  It's frustrating because then I don't even want to read the chapter.  Every time I do it ends up being the same thing as the subtitle.  How can Voltaire give it away? No, it does not give specific details but it gives the reader a main idea of what the chapter is going to be about.  There is absolutely no element of surprise and that is just annoying. 

Curiosity Killed the Cat? NO. Stupidity Killed the Cat.

After Candide is kicked out of Westphalia life becomes the exact opposite.  He gets depressed and won't stop moaning about his stupid life.  I say stupid because he is literally retarded!  Two men see him and invite him to dine with them.  Candide says that he doesn't have the money to pay for the dinner so the men reply that they would help him because: "Thats what men are for, to help each other." (page 23) Men were definitely not created to help each other.  They always want something in return, any kind of payment. If any stranger invited me to dine with them and told me that they would pay for it I would naturally ask what they wanted in return.  It just isn't in our nature since we are, sadly, kind of greedy. The ignorance of this man continues when the men ask if he is some sort of admirer.  "'Are you not a devoted admirer...?' began one of the men in blue. 'Indeed I am,' said Candide earnestly, 'I am a devoted admirer of Lady Cunegonde.'" (page 23) Here, I must admit, his response was not air headed. The Bulgars were not exactly clear by what they meant so naturally I thought, "Lady Cunegonde, duh! He has only been complaining about loosing her for the past five or six pages." 

After that nice little dinner the Bulgars capture Candide and traine him for some type of war against the Abars. (To be honest, I don't even know what Bulgars and Abars are.) "Those who have never seen two well-trained armies drawn up for battle, can have no idea of the beauty and brilliance of the display." (page 25) What is so beautiful about a battle field full of blood and suffering people? What is so brilliant about killing others that you don't even know and who have done nothing to you? These are the questions that haunt me every time I read that sentence.  After reflecting on those questions Voltaire quickly contradicts himself and describes the horrid scene of what's left after the battle. "Old men, crippled with wounds, watched helplessly the death-throes of their butchered women-folk, who still clasped their children to their bloodstained breasts." (page 26) This reminds me of the Volturi in Twilight.  The similarity of the names kept making me think of Twilight and then the idea of people contradicting themselves came up in my mind and then I realized that the Volturi do the same thing!  I know you are probably thinking, "What the f*$k?!" I mean what does a young naive boy have to do with vampires and werewolves? The truth is... they have absolutely nothing in common except one thing. In the book (and movie) the Volturi (vampire leaders) always contradict themselves when something has to do with Bella Swan (main character).

After the war he escapes from the Bulgars and along his journey he finds Dr. Pangloss.  He starts talking to him and obviously asks about the love of his life.  Dr. Pangloss tells him that she is dead and Candide goes off whining: "'Cunegonde is dead!' said he. 'Oh, what has become of the best of worlds? . . . But what did she die of? No doubt it was grief at seeing me sent flying from her father's lovely mansion  at the point of a jack-boot?'" (page 29) His "show" is just as dramatic as Romeo and Juliet's! Romeo had no reason for killing himself. That just caused Juliet to kill herself because Romeo had died for her.  Then there is Candide. He goes on and on and on about the world having no meaning and it being over due to the death of Lady Cunegonde.  At least he didn't kill himself, but I mean seriously?! Romeo and Juliet were married. They were husbad and wife! What were Candide and Cunegonde? They had kissed and that's about it. Since there are so many references to Romeo and Juliet, I am starting to wonder if this novel is going to be a funny version of Romeo and Juliet but with different  events.

Awkward Turtle

CANDIDE OR OPTIMISM. Any normal student who comes across this book for English class would think, "Great. Here is another boring book we are stuck reading for English. To make it even better its about being optimistic. *sigh*" Luckily, if your in English class with Mr. Tangen the student knows that there has to be a catch.  Since the last book the class read was Slaughterhouse-Five, a book full of dark humor, many of the students second guessed if the novel would actually be optimistic.  Since the book in the first chapter has many positive sentences I was shocked to figure out that the book would actually be about a happy city where "everything happens for the best."(page 20)

"He proved incontestably that there is no effect without a cause, and that in this best of all possible worlds, his lordship's country seat was the most beautiful of mansions and her ladyship the best of all possible ladyships." (page 20) This makes their world sound like an outstanding paradise. A perfect Utopia. The exact opposite of what someone ready to read a satirical novel would be expecting.  The first chapter continues describing the perfect Utopia until Dr. Pangloss  has an affair with a waiting-woman.  "One day Cunegonde was walking near the house in a little copice, called 'the park', when she saw Dr. Pangloss behind some bushes giving a lesson in experimental physics to her mother's waiting-woman, a pretty little brunette who seemed eminently teachable."(page 21) Before this sentence there are subtle hints here and there about the characters being stupid and naive.  This phrase makes it even more clear that Lady Cunegonde is as naive as it gets. It doesn't take someone with a dirty mind to realize that Voltaire, the author, is actually talking about sex. I find it hilarious that she sat there and "took note of cause and effect"(page 21) without feeling a tad bit awkward. Anyone who had seen her from this century would probably think "awkward turtle..."

 Since she firmly believes it is an actual science lesson she thinks of doing it with Candide, whom she adores. "Cunegonde dropper her handkerchief, and Candide picked it up.  She quite innocently took his hand, he as innocently kissed hers with singular grace and ardour. Their lips met, their eyes flashed, their knees trembled, and their hands would not keep still." (page 21)  Another "awkward turtle" moment happened since the dad walked in on their nice little event.  Candide is kicked out of Westphalia and Cunegonde is depressed. Surprise Surprise. This forbidden love story reminds me of Romeo and Juliet. The only difference happens to be that Romeo actually got kicked out for killing someone while Candide got kicked out for "experimenting with sciences."

In the beginning of this blog I was talking about how pissed I was that the novel would actually be an optimistic fairytale.  Since the beginning of the book the story has changed. People have been kicked out of Westphalia and life has been turned upside down.  Maybe this story will be full of dark humor. After all there have already been clues of stupidity in this chapter.