Curiosity Killed the Cat? NO. Stupidity Killed the Cat.

After Candide is kicked out of Westphalia life becomes the exact opposite.  He gets depressed and won't stop moaning about his stupid life.  I say stupid because he is literally retarded!  Two men see him and invite him to dine with them.  Candide says that he doesn't have the money to pay for the dinner so the men reply that they would help him because: "Thats what men are for, to help each other." (page 23) Men were definitely not created to help each other.  They always want something in return, any kind of payment. If any stranger invited me to dine with them and told me that they would pay for it I would naturally ask what they wanted in return.  It just isn't in our nature since we are, sadly, kind of greedy. The ignorance of this man continues when the men ask if he is some sort of admirer.  "'Are you not a devoted admirer...?' began one of the men in blue. 'Indeed I am,' said Candide earnestly, 'I am a devoted admirer of Lady Cunegonde.'" (page 23) Here, I must admit, his response was not air headed. The Bulgars were not exactly clear by what they meant so naturally I thought, "Lady Cunegonde, duh! He has only been complaining about loosing her for the past five or six pages." 

After that nice little dinner the Bulgars capture Candide and traine him for some type of war against the Abars. (To be honest, I don't even know what Bulgars and Abars are.) "Those who have never seen two well-trained armies drawn up for battle, can have no idea of the beauty and brilliance of the display." (page 25) What is so beautiful about a battle field full of blood and suffering people? What is so brilliant about killing others that you don't even know and who have done nothing to you? These are the questions that haunt me every time I read that sentence.  After reflecting on those questions Voltaire quickly contradicts himself and describes the horrid scene of what's left after the battle. "Old men, crippled with wounds, watched helplessly the death-throes of their butchered women-folk, who still clasped their children to their bloodstained breasts." (page 26) This reminds me of the Volturi in Twilight.  The similarity of the names kept making me think of Twilight and then the idea of people contradicting themselves came up in my mind and then I realized that the Volturi do the same thing!  I know you are probably thinking, "What the f*$k?!" I mean what does a young naive boy have to do with vampires and werewolves? The truth is... they have absolutely nothing in common except one thing. In the book (and movie) the Volturi (vampire leaders) always contradict themselves when something has to do with Bella Swan (main character).

After the war he escapes from the Bulgars and along his journey he finds Dr. Pangloss.  He starts talking to him and obviously asks about the love of his life.  Dr. Pangloss tells him that she is dead and Candide goes off whining: "'Cunegonde is dead!' said he. 'Oh, what has become of the best of worlds? . . . But what did she die of? No doubt it was grief at seeing me sent flying from her father's lovely mansion  at the point of a jack-boot?'" (page 29) His "show" is just as dramatic as Romeo and Juliet's! Romeo had no reason for killing himself. That just caused Juliet to kill herself because Romeo had died for her.  Then there is Candide. He goes on and on and on about the world having no meaning and it being over due to the death of Lady Cunegonde.  At least he didn't kill himself, but I mean seriously?! Romeo and Juliet were married. They were husbad and wife! What were Candide and Cunegonde? They had kissed and that's about it. Since there are so many references to Romeo and Juliet, I am starting to wonder if this novel is going to be a funny version of Romeo and Juliet but with different  events.