Worst Ending of My Life!

The ending of Slaughterhouse Five definitely did not meet my expectations.  The novel is full of things that keep the reader hooked like Trafalmadore, World War Two, and his continuous flashbacks.  How could they end it on such a mellow note? Everyone ends up dying which made me depressed.  Instead of making the people die while fighting for something, Vonnegut made them die just because.  It seems like he just ran out of ideas, which is something that you should not let the reader know or think while reading your book.

"When she arrived at the hospital,  people rushed to the windows to see what all the noise was. The Cadillac, with both mufflers gone, sounded like a heavy bomber coming in on a wing and a prayer. Valencia turned off the engine, but then she slumped against the steering wheel, and the horn brayed steadily. A doctor and a nurse ran out to find out what the trouble was. Poor Valencia was unconscious, overcome by carbon monoxide." (p.234)

So while on her way to visit her husband, she gets into a car accident that destroyed her exhaust system.  She keeps driving and when she finally gets to the hospital, she dies! HOW DEPRESSING! Why didn't Vonnegut keep it interesting by saying, "Valencia left her house immediately and took the Cadillac.  While speeding on the highway so that she could see her husband before he died or became a vegetable, a semi-truck ran into her and killed her." I know it sounds extremely cruel, but at least Valencia's life would have had a good ending.  Her death isn't the only boring one.  Everyone on the plane died although Billy had the chance to keep it from taking off! He brags about being on Trafalmadore and having been able to see the future. So, why didn't he stop it?! He even knows how he is going to die! He is in a crowd because he had just finished his speech about Trafalmadore and he tells his body guards to go home. He knows someone is going to try to shoot him so why didn't he tell his body guards to stay with him?! Does he really hate life so much that he wants to die and make everyone around him die as well? The only man who actually had an entertaining end was Derby. He got shot by a firing squad while in Dresden.  Vonnegut should have kept his excitement for the ending of everyone else's lives.  With all the excitement occurring, the ending would have been a lot more intense and worth reading.

Be Happy

"When he was young, Vonnegut's mother committed suicide and the lack of maternal figure probably influenced how Billy acts with his own mother in the novel." -Lina Merizalde

Not long ago I read Lina Merizalde's blog Vonnegut: On the Verge of Losing his Mind. She examines the relationship between Billy and his mother and why he treats her like he does. She seems to believe that it is because of the anger Vonnegut has towards his mommy.  


I completely agree with her because Billy is very cold with Mrs. Pilgrim. No matter the kindness she shows towards him, he just brushes it off. When she goes to see him in the hospital, he pulls the covers over his face until she leaves.  He would do this because: "He always got much sicker until she went away.  She upset Billy simply by being his mother.  She made him feel embarrassed and ungrateful and weak because she had gone to so much trouble to give him life, and to keep that life going, and Billy didn't really like life at all." (p.102)


 It seems like Billy's actions are related to Vonnegut's mother's actions.  They both have a negative outlook on life and just want to end their lives.  Something else said in her blog is, "Children who lose a parent tend to have three times the risk of depression then those with two living parents..."  Could Billy's feelings also be related to Vonnegut's? He lost his mother and survived a war which must have led him to depression.  


Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behavior, feelings, and physical well being.  It pushes away family, friends, and other people who care about you.  It destroys relationships and our process in growing as a happy and healthy human being.  It may even take the life of a person if he/she does not get help. Once the person gets help for this terrible disease, he/she can live a happy and full life.  He/she can go from a path of being forever alone to a happy one full of rainbows, sunshine, smiles, and things that make the person happy.  Try to live your life as happy as possible and you will see that there are positive things worth living for. 

Cinderelli is Billy Pilgrim??

"The boots fit perfectly.  Billy Pilgrim was Cinderella, and Cinderella was Billy Pilgrim." (p. 185)

I am sure that anyone who is living today has seen or heard the tale of Cinderella. The girl who lived a terrible life, cleaning up after her stepmother and stepsisters, until she met her fairy godmother and prince.  Is Billy Pilgrim really the male version of Cinderella? I am not quite sure.  I mean there are things that make them identical, but there are also things that make them completely different.

They are identical in the sense that they both went from living a terrible life to living a better one.  Both their fathers died when they were at a young age.  For Cinderella it was after he brought home her stepmother and stepsisters.  For Billy it was in the year of 1944 after a hunting accident.  After her father died, her step family revealed their true nature.  They were cruel to her and made her move up to the attic and work as their maid. If I were Cinderella I would not accept that.  Yes she was little, but she still had her title of being from a wealthy family.  I mean they lived during the medieval times so her step mother can't take away her title, right? Billy had a terrible life because he had to fight during WW2 where he became a prisoner.  Just like Cinderella, he didn't choose to take part in the war.  He was sent by the government to fight for his country. Wow. That had to suck.  After they both lived that difficult life, a miracle happened.  They both went down a path that led them to a shoe.  For Cinderella it was a glass slipper and for Billy it was a boot.  The first time they tried it on it had fit perfectly.  The glass slipper led Cinderella to her prince while the boot led Billy to Dresden which would eventually save him from the war.  After that, Billy went home and met his princess, a rich girl who's father owned the school he was attending.  He got married to Valencia while Cinderella got married to Prince Charming and they both lived a happily ever after. Well sorta.

After their marriage is when Cinderella and Billy's similarities drift apart.  Billy married a woman he absolutely despises and only married her because of the money. RUDE! Cinderella married her prince because she loved him.  As soon as Billy became rich, he forgot who he was and didn't really stay friends with his old poor friends, meanwhile Cinderella did not forget who she was (skip to 7:22).  We assume Cinderella lived a happily ever after because she is a fairytale, but we do know that Billy didn't live a happily ever after.  He now has a daughter who does not stop bothering him and a wife who annoys him and died early in his daughter's life.

Vonnegut should have just put that Billy is like Cinderella. Not that he is Cinderella because although the beginning of their lives are very similar, the rest of their lives are very different.  Cinderella's tale is a happy fairytale and Billy's is a depressing story.  Why couldn't Billy just love Valencia that way she was and try to make her happy? Additionally, if he really couldn't stand her why would he freakin marry her?! I hate when people just go for someone's money! They don't think of the effect it may have on the person if he/she ever found out.  Cinderella is a kind and gentle person while Billy is a cruel and selfish old man.  He didn't make his life worth living because he always had a negative opinion about life.  Lesson from this chapter? Try to be like Cinderella.  Think of positive things and always try to make your dreams come true.  You will see that life has a lot to offer and that its worth living.  Don't try to guess your future like Billy did, just live in the present and sometimes think about your future.  If you do this your life will be a lot more exciting and not so boring.

If You Have Nothing Nice To Say, Don't Say It At All

"But the Gospels actually taught this: Before you kill somebody, make absolutely sure he isn't well connected."(p. 138)

This aphorism is insulting to Christians everywhere.  Why would an alien who is trying to learn about the human culture only focus on people who believe in God? Why would he only focus on the limited times Christians have been cruel?! The alien clearly does not understand the human culture.  Not everyone on the globe is a christian.  There are other religions which include: Buddhism, Judaism, Muslim, etc.  How would the alien feel if a random human being came to his/her planet and started judging something that he/she barely knew about?! All the Bible said is that those who persecuted the lord would be punished. It was the crowd's and Pontius Pilate's decision to hang Jesus Christ up on a cross.  I shouldn't be blaming the alien for this quote, I should be blaming Kilgore Trout.  He is the author of the book The Gospel From Outer Space and it is here that the sentence is located.

What does Kilgore Trout have against Christians? Why does he feel the need to put them down? I'm sure everyone has heard of the famous saying mothers and fathers enjoy telling little kids: If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.  Apparently Trout hasn't heard of it or he chooses not to pay attention to it.  Everyone is free to have their own opinion, but you should be careful of how you express it.    Imagine if Kilgore had become successful with his book? The Christians would be furious and the problem could get violent.  It was a silly mistake of his that could have been easily avoided.

I have been in that situation many times and this lesson should definitely be taught in school.  One time I wanted to give my opinion on some body's outfit.  I said that I didn't really like it and that she should definitely choose another one.  That hurt her and she got very upset.  It was a silly mistake of mine because I didn't choose the right words or phrase to give my opinion with.

Eliot Rosewater, Billy's roommate in the veteran hospital,introduced him to Kilgore Trout.  Since then "Kilgore Trout became Billy's favorite living author, and science fiction became the only sort of tales he could read." (p.128) Billy got his crazy idea of Tralfamadorians living in a fourth dimension from him. Kilgore Trout has had a big influence on Billy and his ideas.  As mentioned in the aphorism above, he only reads Trout's books because he thinks he is a good author, even though he agrees with Rosewater when he says: "Jesus-if Kilgore Trout could only write!"(p.140) Billy backs him up by thinking, "He had a point: Kilgore Trout's unpopularity was deserved. His prose was frightful. Only his ideas were good." (p.140)

Calvin and Hobbes: It's O.K. to be Different

Billy Pilgrim is on a spaceship going to Trafalmadore when he goes through a time warp and returns to a memory of when he is 12 years old.  He is exploring the Old West with his parents when they stop at the grand canyon.

""well-" said Billy's father, manfully kicking a pebble into space, "there it is." They had come to this famous place by automobile. They had had seven blowouts on the way. "It was worth the trip," said Billy's mother raptly. "Oh, God-was it ever worth it." Billy hated the canyon. He was sure that he was going to fall in." -Slaughterhouse Five (p.112-113)

Calvin is a young boy going with his parents on a camping trip. They don't tell him where he is going, but when he finds out he does not seem too happy about it.

" "So where are we going? I sure hope we're not camping again this year."-Calvin "Well,we are."-Father "Oh,no! Why do we have to go camping?! I HATE camping! Swatting mosquitoes while lying frozen and cramped on bumpy rocks, with no TV and only canned food to eat, is NOT my idea of a good time."-Calvin "Thats why we brought bug spray"- Father "Look, just let me out here, ok? I'll hitch home and see you when you get back, all right?" -Calvin"- The Authoritative Calvin and Hobbes (p.181)

Aren't these two quotes similar? They are both about a little boy giving his negative opinion about the trip he is on. As soon as I read the passage in Slaughterhouse Five, I immediately thought of my all time favorite comic Calvin and Hobbes.

Calvin is a crazy child who uses big words and LOVES to give his opinion.  Imagine having a child like that. He has an imaginary friend named Hobbes, his stuffed tiger.  Hobbes helps him with his homework, he sleeps with him, goes sledding with him, and even camping.  The friendship that Calvin and Hobbes have is unbreakable.  While Calvin is loud and has no problem expressing himself, Billy is the exact opposite.  Billy seems like a shy little boy who thinks what he feels instead of saying it.  He doesn't seem to have any friends and his only company are his parents.  Imagine having a life like that?

These two aphorisms from different books show the different personalities kids and adults may have.  They are both saying the exact same thing but using different forms. Its ok to be different. Sometimes it is actually better being different.  Imagine a world where everyone is the same.  They would all like the same things, speak the same way, live in the same location, and even look the same. Where is the fun in that? There would be no point in meeting and becoming friends with anyone because you would already know everything about them. There wouldn't be diversity in jobs, hobbies, or languages.  Being different is a good thing because it gives the person a little mystery.  We will never know absolutely everything about a person which leads us to want to get closer to them.

As I mentioned before, Calvin and Billy are very different kids in very different books.  In Slaughterhouse Five, Billy is also very different from the soldiers around him.  "The Germans found him to be one of the most screamingly funny things they had seen in all of World War Two." (p.115)  Many times in the book they refer to him as a skinny man who doesn't have any weapons.  It is possible that the Germans were laughing at him because of his size.  Many of the soldiers who go off to war are normally big and buff, Billy was not. I know that with this paragraph I am contradicting myself when I say, "It's ok to be different." I am actually not.  Yes, people get made fun of when they look different from other people, but it's the personality that counts.

Trafalmadore vs Dresden

War must only be entertaining when your in all the action and not marching towards a camp.  Life must be fairly simple when your in the second situation because Billy Pilgrim has a lot of time for daydreaming.  He must have way to much free time if he has the time to come up with a whole future life for himself. Yup, definitely too much free time! He wakes up in 1967 once again and it is the night after Barbara's wedding.  He is watching a Second World War movie forwards and then backwards.  Billy really focuses on the movie when it plays backwards. I guess that maybe he wishes life and war were like the movie when it plays backwards. If life could fix things and major worldly issues then we would not be in the tough situation that we are in at the moment.  We wouldn't have a violent history and the world would be a happy peaceful place.  Adam and Eve appear again when Pilgrim wishes that the world would have stayed perfect when these two perfect people were alive.  This chapter has a lot of symbolism.  In his opinion everything is dead and cold.  He describes corpses as ivory and blue which only helps me picture what someone dead may look like.  While he is walking to the waiting flying saucer he describes his bare feet as ivory and blue while saying the champagne is dead.  When he enters the saucer he describes what it looks like and what the trafalmadorians are like. He says that time doesn't matter to them and that everything is what it is.

He awakes back in Germany on the moving train. While on the train no one allows Pilgrim to fall asleep on the floor. They all had stories of what he had done to them in his sleep.  I feel bad for him because when I was little my sisters didn't like it when I slept in their room or bed.  They both would have sleepovers in each other's room and I would never be invited because I spoke and kicked in my sleep.  Billy Pilgrim and I are very similar in that way.  When they arrive at the camp Pilgrim realized that Trafalmadore and Dresden are very similar. They have many of the same buildings, the first order was for him to take off his clothes, and they didn't speak english.  While naked, the Germans were preparing the showers and inspecting them.  The man with the best body, according to Pilgrim, would get shot in 67 days by a firing squad.  When they all enter the shower and the water comes on, Pilgrim has a flashback of when his mother was bathing him when he was just a baby.

Uh Oh Spaghetti O!

When someone falls behind from the group while walking in a forest, it usually has a negative effect.  In my opinion, negative things can always turn into positive things; at least that is what happens in Slaughterhouse 5.  While Roland Weary and Bill Pilgrim try to catch up to the group, German soldiers begin to shoot at them.  The soldiers captured Pilgrim and Weary, and killed the two remaining soldiers.  While being captured Weary had to give all his belongings to the german soldiers while the soldiers gave him theirs.  During this process the captain was cleaning and polishing his boots when Adam and Eve reflected off them.  Could "Adam and Eve" be a symbol? Will they appear in the rest of the book? Only time will tell.  In the beginning of Slaughterhouse 5, Kurt Vonnegut tells about his companion when he was in Dresden, O'Hare.  Is it possible that O'Hare and Weary are the same person? It's possible because Bill and Weary are both captured together and are taken to Dresden together.  When they both arrive to the cottage they see about 20 other americans.

Once again Pilgrim begins to daydream (what a surprise) and wakes up in 1967 as a 44 year old man.  He is in his optometry office with a female patient that stands up and leaves.  He begins to observe his surroundings and sees that he owns a very nice car.  When a siren starts to sound Pilgrim begins to freak out because he think World War Three will start at any minute. Wow this dude is paranoid!

He is rudely waken up and is told to keep walking.  While thinking about 1967 the soldiers make him reenact the capture so that the German media could take pictures.  He starts to daydream (again) about his perfect rich life in 1967. His son is a sergeant in a present-day war and his daughter, Barbara, is about to get married.  While driving to a restaurant in Ilium, NY he drives by the ghetto and sees the similarities it has with Dresden, Germany.  When he arrives to the restaurant he is named President of the Lion Clubs and then wakes up in Luxembourg.  I don't understand how the Germans let Billy live.  He kept bumping into everyone due to his daydreaming and injured leg.  I am extremely surprised they didn't murder him.

While on the march he met a man named Bob, a colonel with pneumonia.  He was telling everyone to remember him as "Wild Bob" and that if they were ever in Wyoming to ask for him.  They are transported to a train where they didn't move for two days.  "Wild Bob" had died while on the unmoving train and the soldiers brought a cotton stretcher and took him out of the cart.  On Christmas night the train starts to move and he begins to think of 1967.  That night he is kidnapped by a flying saucer from Trafalmadore.

Unstuck in Time

     Kurt begins "The Children's Crusade" and uses different names for each character.  The main character is named Bill Pilgrim and the first sentence says: "Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in time." I did not understand this sentence until I read further.  Billy remembers many experiences he has had like his birth and death.  He walks through a door in 1955 and comes out in 1941 experiencing many old events.  Bill is now an old man with a crack in his forehead because of an accident he once had. He has a daughter named Barbara who constantly worries about him and never leaves him alone.  One day Barbara comes home very upset at Bill because he had sent a letter to the Papers telling them about his time on a strange planet named Trafalmadore.  He was working on his second letter to the papers when she walked in and scolded him.  As soon as she had gone upstairs he started remembering his days fighting in the Second World War.  Bill speaks about his first tour of duty and how there was nothing worth remembering.  He was sent home because his father had died in a shooting accident.  When he was sent back to war he expresses himself as being useless and defenseless: he didn't have the proper shoes or any weapons.  He was assigned to a group of three (with him 4) where the leader was called Roland Weary.  Bill describes him as a huge, strong, and fat man with a lot of weapons and clothes.  He had many scarves, socks, jackets, a customized helmet, a knife his father gave him, and a gun. I wonder why Bill didn't ask him for any of these when he was not using them? Weary was a buddy of his who always saved his life.  At one point, the Germans were shooting at them and Bill didn't want to walk any further, so he stopped and willingly let them shoot at him.  Weary ran and pushed him out of the way so that he wouldn't be killed.  When they were finally safe and walking in the woods, Bill stoped and once again starts reminiscing. His first memory is of when he was a child learning how to swim.  He is scared because his father is using the method "sink or swim". (Very scary when your a kid, trust me.)  He then begins to think of other memories until he is rudely awaken by Weary back into the present where he is fighting an ugly war.  He wishes to be back in the free and peaceful times of a young boy whose only worry is trying to learn how to swim.  Weary shoves him for a quarter mile and when they are close to reaching the other scouts he says that when Bill gets out of this war, he will owe his life to the Three Musketeers.  Weary referred to himself and the other two scouts as the three musketeers because they had survived the war together for a long time.  The scouts got tired of waiting for them so they continued walking without them.  They heard dogs and shouting, like a hunt, and it looked like the hunters knew exactly where their prey was.  Bill and the others hid from them and he starts to day dream, once again.  Instead of focusing on the past he starts thinking of the possible future for the events he sees have not yet occurred.  At first he imagines himself as a skater in a beautiful outfit and nice, white, clean socks.  When that image leaves his head he imagines himself being elected president.  Many people ask themselves how Bill can keep daydreaming and reminiscing during a war, but I can relate.  I get distracted very easily when I am bored, even during important events like performances, and start to think of the past and hope what my future may be like.  It is always good to daydream because it can make you forget about the terrible present you might be living in.  It is a way to escape the present, even if it is just for a little while. All though it is mostly good, there are also negative effects.  Billy should be worried about his constant daydreaming because it will eventually get him into trouble.  In wars you must pay attention so that you do not get captured or killed, but with billy never focusing I don't know how he will survive much longer.

The Children's Crusade

    Kurt Vonnegut's first chapter of Slaughterhouse Five introduces the main idea of his novel.  He begins speaking to the reader as himself and presents his best friend from the Second World War, O'Hare. He describes their experiences during the war and when they were captured by the russians in Dresden. Once again he talks about himself and mentions his odd disease which stimulates him to call all his old friends every night when he is drunk.  This terrible habit leads him to calling O'Hare and telling him about his idea of wanting to write a book of their experiences.  O'Hare invites him to his home so that they can reconnect and talk about the old times.  I find it humorous that Kurt speaks about writing a book based on the Second World War within a book already written about the war.  When he reaches O'Hare's home he sits in the kitchen with him and they laugh as they reminice but then they become serious.  When they remember a time where a man was killed in Dresden for using a tea cup that was not his, they could not hold back the laughter. At that moment, O'Hare's wife, Mary, enters and scolds both of them for laughing at a such a serious and terrible matter. She has a negative point of view on Kurt's idea of writing a book and has no problem making it known. This scene makes it clear why Kurt dedicates this book to Mary O'Hare and a cab driver they met in Dresden. She believes that books and movies encourage young children to want to go to war because these movies and books do not tell or show the actual things that happen during a war.  Kurt lets her know that his book will not be like that because it will only speak the truth.  This scene also explains the title of his book.  He names it "The Children's Crusade" because of her reference to children.
    This book gets very interesting when you become aware of the type of history he is coming from and the odd memories he and his friend have had in Dresden. He flows into every new scene and has a reason for each.  Something I realized while reading the first chapter is a very odd coincidence.  Kurt worked in Iowa University and taught Writers Workshop.  When we write an essay in Mr. Tangen's class we always do Writers Workshop.  We give our paper to a partner and they circle and make known the mistakes we each have made.  Something Mary O'Hare said to Kurt has helped me relate to the beginning of this novel.  I feel the same way she does with violent video games, movies, and books based on war.  There are various imperfect things that come with war, but these games and movies make war look like fun. When you die in a video game it is just game over and you get more lives.  During a real war there really are game overs; the biggest difference is that you don't get any more chances or lives.

The Perfect Life

    The Perfect Life by John Keothe is a fascinating poem that defines his life and his opinion towards it.  It appears that when he was a younger man everything was beautiful and had a meaning. He saw his life as perfect because he was content and did not have any disappointments.  He comes to realize that his life is not as perfect as he makes it out to be because he becomes aware that he is living in denial.  His power and superiority give him a delusional contentment for a short while.  As time passes and he reaches middle age items that are beautiful and strong start to mean nothing to him. Additionally, he feels that life looses its beautiful color and becomes a cold open space. (Very depressing.) As old age settles in, so do mental illnesses such as alzheimer's which causes a person to feel alone and disoriented in the world.  He states that things he knows turn into unfamiliar faces and that he is left in a strange room. As death takes over he looks back on his life and acknowledges that in his eyes it has been perfect.
    I can somehow relate to this poem because I too have felt that my life is perfect.  When I am content and having a good time with my friends, I always think to myself "Wow, my life is perfect. What could go wrong?" After a moment like that I may make a mistake in the future and that is when I realize that my life is not as perfect as it may have seemed in the past.  The only difference with this poem and myself is that he describes what he sees and feels as his life comes to an end and I have only described what I have seen until now.  I still have to live my life and hope that the future is full of fun experiences. (Hey, I'm only a teenager!)

Poetic Justice

Inferno: Circle 7 Ring 2
In this ring people are punished for committing suicide. They are turned into trees and are pecked at by a creature that is half woman and half bird. The souls in this ring rejected themselves and the life they had. They have the punishment of not being able to return to their bodies and being put through pain because of the creature that they are pecked by. Poetic justice is when a positive thing happens to a good character or a negative thing happens to an evil character.  I believe that this ring is perfect for showing poetic justice because the souls that did something negative to themselves are severely punished for their deeds.